Frequent questions He asks the doctor Beginning  
TYPES OF VIOLENCE IN COUPLE
PHYSICAL VIOLENCE SEXUAL VIOLENCE VERBAL VIOLENCE EMOTIONAL VIOLENCE TO SEE TO CONSULT

PHYSICAL VIOLENCE

The physical violence is an invasion of the physical space of another person and it can be done of two ways: one is the direct contact with the body of another person by means of blows, pushes and landmarks; another way is to limit his movements shutting it up, provoking injuries to him with firearms, forcing her to have sexual relations and producing the death to him. This way, the physical violence has a direct impact in the body of the victim, although the emotional space is the one that more suffers, to exception logically of which the aggression that produces the death. In fact, any violence has to damage for an object emotionally the victim, because this wears it out and takes his power to survive from him. On the other hand, this type of violence also fond of the victim in the social ambience, since frequently you feel shamed of going out to the street for the bruises and scars that he has left. Finally, it is necessary to mention that the physical violence is the last resource that the man uses, since in general earlier it has already tried to control his couple of other subtler ways, like the emotional and verbal violence.

SEXUAL VIOLENCE

This form of violence is very widespread and is inside the ambience of the physical violence, although it invades all the spaces of the woman. For the severity of this violence, we put it in a different category. First of all, the sexual violence is exercised on having imposed on the woman ideas and sexual acts. The ideas are imposed generally by means of the verbal violence. The man does this in order to despise his couple and make her feel that it does not cost and that it is not capable. The man wants that his couple has to compete for his attention and good dealings: it is very common that the man treats better persons who do not live with him that to your own couple. Another form of sexual violence is realized by means of the physical force, violating the woman. The man thinks that for having a relation it has right to do sexually what he wants and when he wants with her, and to carry this violation out the man uses different methods, from "convincing" with money up to using of threats and blows to carry out his intention. Generally it intensifies his sexual advances until the victim ends up by accepting his requirements, even without agreeing. On the other hand, the sexual violence bears also tocamientos not withstood, to penetrate with objects the victim, etc. Finally, this form of violence has a very deep impact in the victim, because it invades all the spaces of the violated woman, who also frequently feels guilty of his misfortune on having perceived that he might have avoided the aggression if, for example, "it had not dressed of provocative form" or "it had not gone for this so dark alley", etc.

VERBAL VIOLENCE

The verbal violence needs the use of words (or vocal noises) to affect and to damage the woman, to make her believe that it is mistaken or to speak in false about her in public. There exist three ways of exercising this type of violence: cosificar, to degrade and to threaten.

  • To threaten: it consists of the most usual way of exercising the verbal violence, promising to the woman to exercise violence against her if it tries to be opposed to the man.
  • To degrade: It is a type of violence that diminishes the value of the person by means of phrases as "you are a nitwit", "you always behave like a girl", etc. Also it is possible to practise more thinly (without it being for it less painful) with phrases as "you do not worry if the meal goes out for you badly: I already know that you cannot do it better". This type of verbal violence is very painful for the woman, because it is not very visible but it affects it emotionally and in a very deep way.
  • Cosificar: he consists of making to feel like an object without value the person, putting by-names to him or speaking to her in a contemptuous way; for example: "kitchen-maid, they see here" etc.
  • All these are direct forms of violence, but there are also indirect forms; for example, to whisper so that it does not understand what he says to him, to do noise so that it does not hear the television, etc. Since we see, all the forms of verbal violence take as a target to degrade the woman, to remove him his humanity, to despise it, to restrict his activities and especially to deny his own reality, to hurt it emotionally. Finally, this is a form of very used violence, because it takes a lot of forms and is concealed.

    EMOTIONAL VIOLENCE

    The emotional violence takes as a target to destroy the feelings and the self-esteem of the woman, making her doubt its own reality and limiting his resources to survive. This type of violence is tremendously harmful, because cause that the battered woman feels constantly pressed without being able to define where from this pressure comes; thus, it constitutes a form of torture that supports the unbalanced victim, since it is thinking about being the cause of the pressure that is imposed on him.
    As for his declarations, it is carried out by means of acts that attack the feelings or the emotions of the person: these acts are persistent and very difficult to recognize, since they are even more secret than the verbal violence; thus, generally it is done by means of physical attitudes that imply invalidation, criticism, judgment and disqualification.
    Some examples of emotional violence are the following ones: To prevent the woman from having social contacts by means of arguments as "your sister does not love me, only puts ideas to you against me"; to discard his ideas, for example, if she contributed a thought to do something he rejects it immediately saying for example "he forgives, but you do not know anything about this topic"; to attack his beliefs...

    The form more impactante of emotional violence to which the man resorts is to hope that his couple should spend his resources, while he does not assume any responsibility. His absence as couple is the part that for her turns out to be emotionally more painful, since he hopes that he should change, and the more it tries to understand and to support him to take part in a cooperative way, he moves away the more of her. His attempts for being related to him make sure the man that he is in the center of his life, and therefore, that his strategies to disorganize it and to devalue it are working.

    These types of violence are used of progressive form: the emotional violence unbalances the person, who begins doubting his skill to process the information that receives and therefore it makes her exposed to be controlled. This type of violence works on having imposed the ideas of a person on other one. If the person rehúsa to allow to control for supposedly subtle means, the aggressor advances and begins to use clearer methods, like the verbal violence. If nevertheless the person does not allow to be controlled and is opposed openly, then the aggressor uses the last resource: the physical violence.


    Note of the author: the feminine genre has been used in the definitions, which does not imply that the victim could be a man. There has been used the genre of most of the victims of violence of couple as they show the statistics.

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    Writing: Medical equipment   Update: June, 2009


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