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Frequent questions | |
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He asks the doctor | |
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Beginning | |
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THE CHILD AND THE DEATH | |
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 INTRODUCTION EXPRESSION WHAT TO MAKE SEE CONSULTING TO CONSULT |
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Most of the children must face, in some moment of the infancy, the death of a nearby person. To be able to support in a best possible way a child in this situation, it turns out to be important to know the idea that this one does to himself of the death. Such a notion can change, according to the baggage of experience and evolutionary moment of the child in question. In general, the children of less than less than five years have a conception of the quite rudimentary death. They describe it as a long sleep, a trip or another way of living. For them it is a passing and reversible phenomenon. His games de facto, they translate this concept. The soldadito who has died for a shot "re-lives" suddenly, in perfect state of health, or the "dead" doll is touched by a magic varita who makes her be reborn, to give some examples. From five years, the perception of the death in the children becomes more "realistic". They begin to understand that the death implies a fundamental change. Nevertheless, it is alone about ten years that the child understands truly that it is a question of an irreversible and universal fact.
The children in duel can express his sorrow across the crying and the sadness; but his sorrow also can be evident across the rage, the anxiety or the worry. Some of them will be able to deny the event with all his forces, doing as if nothing had happened. Others will be able to show pronounced aggressiveness towards the deceased that "left them". The important thing is to be alert with regard to what is happening to him, encouraging it to express his feelings. In this sense, it is not advisable to demand from him that it should be "reasonable", behaving like a "big one". He must speak about the death. With the idea of "protecting" the child, before the painful reality of the death of a nearby being, one tends to avoid often to speak about the death in his presence, shying away, also his questions. This attitude is not suitable and often, what the children imagine before the silenced topic is much worse than the truth that it tries to be hidden. They do not wait for big speeches, but for simple and honest answers. And, in any case, the most important thing is to calm them, telling to them that the body does not suffer any more, after the death. Often, what more helps the child in such a situation of the life is to meet again the daily rhythm of his activities: the preschool or school, his friends, his familiar games, the persons that he loves. Also it is important to guarantee the maximum of possible stability. In this sense, it is not a good moment, for example, to change it of school or to impose new requirements on him. It is possible to let him know that his sorrow will weaken in the course of time and that although it is already not provided with the presence of the dear person he can keep his memory. And especially, it is with the affection, the accompaniment and the support to the child that this one will be able to get over in a best possible way to this painful situation. |
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INTRODUCTION |
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