Is the adopted child different?

The child adopted as a couple stable and anxious to adopt it, does not differ in anything of the child whose parents are biological and share with him his genetic material. The development and the affective interaction are identical.

Does it owe the adopted child to know that it it is?

In the opinion of many pediatricians and psychologists, the adopted child must know the truth as soon as it is capable of understanding, at the moment of having use of reason, what probably will be before 4 years of age. This approach gives to the child, at an early age, the opportunity to be able to accept the idea and integrate to the concept of having being "adopted".

Other experts believe that doing this revelation to the child at a very early age can confuse it, and recommend that to be waited until the child should be major.

In both cases, the children must find out about his adoption of mouth of his adoptive parents. This helps to that the message of the adoption is positive and allows the child to trust in his parents. If the child finds out about the adoption, intentionally or incidentally, about mouth of another person who is not one of his parents, he can feel anger and suspicion towards his parents, and can see the adoption as bad or shameful, since it was supported secretly.

Normal reactions to the knowledge of the adoption

The children react of different form on having found out that they are adopted. His emotions and reactions depend on his age and on his level of ripeness.

The child can refuse to accept that it was adopted and can create fantasies about the adoption. For example, often the adopted children stick to the belief of which they gave them because they were bad, etc. If the parents speak frankly about the adoption and present it in a positive way, it is less probable that these worries develop.

All the adolescents happen for a struggle stage for his identity, wondering themselves how they fit with his family, with his partners and with the rest of the world. It is reasonable that the adopted adolescent has pronounced interest in his natural parents during this stage. This expressed curiosity is common and it does not mean that he or she is pushing the adoptive parents back.

To know the identity of his natural parents?

If the child wants to meet his real parents, it him must allow to express his feelings and to make sure him that one will help him to look for them if he still wants to know them when it should be major. It is not necessary to push him to look for them, but neither it is necessary him to prevent to do it. Of gradual form, they do usually understand for themselves the difficulty of doing it, the legal problems that it implies, etc. In this sense, the legislation changes according to the different countries.

Problems of the adopted child

The adopted child can develop emotional problems and of behavior. These problems can be a result of the insecurities and matters related to the fact of having been adopted, although, obviously, also they cannot have anything in common with this fact.

If the parents feel worry, it would be convenient that they were looking for professional help. A psychologist or psychiatrist specializing in children and adolescents can help the child and the adoptive parents to determine if it is needed or does not help.

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